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SNLB is scheduled

Harold will be having surgery in a couple of weeks.  The oncologist will be removing several nodes and one from behind his chest wall.  I am TERRIFIED that when they roll him into surgery that will be the last time I ever see him awake again.  He will have a drain because of that specific one. So far of all the ones that he's having removed that one scares most   I am terrified they are going to take him back and I am never going to see him awake again
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2nd Opinion is in

We just got home from the 2nd Dr. He has the same thing in mind without it being as invasive and/or exploratory. Harold is having the wide line excision and radio active dye injection on Feb 18th. IF and only IF the dye shows up in any of his lymph nodes in any of his lymph nodes anywhere they will be removed. The wide line excision is being done so there will be clear and clean margins from where the mole was. SAME exact thing as the other one said, with the exception of 2 weeks off work not 6 - 8. Needless to say I am TERRIFIED! The what IFs are taking over......
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Christmas Eve

Ahhhhh!!!!! I had so much written out. I just checked one thing and boom it's all gone.  So let's start over... we have our first appointment with the oncologist Thursday, December 27th. I am terrified of what she is going to say.  I don't know if I am strong enough to do this. I am scared I'm going to lose my husband, my best friend and my rock. He has always been the strong one. I'm doing my best to keep it completely together.  That I have been extremely successful at hiding how I feel, I've only broken down twice in front of him. I always knew because of our age difference that I would lose him before I was ready, but then that leaves the question is anyone ever really ready to be told they have cancer.  He is my bestfriend he is my safety net and he is my rock. I loved this man for more than half my life.  I am not used to being the strong one. I feel like I am loosing him to a battle I don't know how to fight.  Hopefully we will get some answers on Thu
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Cancer - Melanoma

It is 3 words you never want to hear.  But once you have your emotions take over.  You get mad. You cry, you don't know what to do next. But you know you are now in the fight for or of your life.  Whether it's your life you're your husband's. My husband has never been sick EVER.  We've been married for 27 years. We will fight. We will win and we will get through this.  Our first oncology appointment is Jan 7. We don't know what to expect but I know that WE will get through this together. Come what may, we will get through this.
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